Why?

Posts here are sporadic at best.  How to you write about something your desperately want to pretend isn't happening?  I thought I had made it through the "why?" stage, but it keeps coming back.   Desperate frantic praying this isnt happening.  Dementia is so cruel.  It doesn't matter how much I grieve today, tomorrow I will have to say again, and grieve again.  So very tired.  So very sad.  I just want my father.  I miss him so much.  Why? Why? Why?

The Thief -- Parkinson's Disease

Where to start. . .  This blog has been swirling in my mind for so many months.  Some days the thoughts and worries and despair swarm around me like millions of locusts obscuring the sun.  This blog is the excruciating journey of losing of my father, my hero, the finest man I have every known.  I really can't imagine that anyone will every want to read it.  But, I feel the need to write it -- if only to myself. 

It is so hard to know when it started.  I have searched my memory for signs that my world was going to change for forever.  It may have started years ago.  I am really not sure.  My father, you see, has Parkinsons Disease.